Am thinking…

I couldn’t figure out what to write about for a bit and I started a new job. I realize I had a few free days, but really I didn’t know what to write about. I didn’t really feel like writing now. But here we go. I’m a cashier out at the airport. I make a decent amount, not nearly what I want to be making, but it’s money. My hours aren’t all that consistent, but I like it out there. Currently I’m looking at consistent hours for at least 3 months. That can change in a few days or sooner or later.
But that’s boring.

So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. I’ve come to the conclusion that if life is taking steps forward and backward, then I’m line dancing. Which I’m kind of okay with, because at least I’m still moving. Right now I’m up late because I can and I want to be. And I’m thinking. Some of the things I’ve got going through the brain I’m not so happy with, and others meh. But some. Wow. Some. It’s deep, man. Like ocean… well maybe not ocean deep, because thinking about that scares me, but it’s deep.

The hubby and I fell in love with a city and really want to move there. We can see ourselves being uber happy there with our kitties. God, I miss those furry little buggers. So much. I keep thinking about how us being away from them is so hard. I miss my kitty cuddles at night and getting woke up in the morning because of them doing something. But now, back home, there’s a stranger sleeping in our bed, using our stuff, and stealing my cuddles. My fuzzy children. I don’t care what anyone has to say, negatively of course, about that. I love them like I would love non-fuzzy children. Or rather, my non-fuzzy children.

I haven’t exactly been writing lately. Too much brain power is being used on other things. …Well that’s not true. I have written a few things. I even completed a short story that I want to make into an audio story.  I’ve been kind of working on a few other stories. I’m really looking forward to one story that I’m writing because it’s my first menage-a-trios. Woot! lol …Anywho. So yeah, I’ve been writing these on my way to and from work. Did I mention that I love riding the bus? It’s seriously a high light in my day.

Also. On a personal-ish note. I’ve been losing weight. The hubby and I have been walking lots. We hop on the bus, not literally mind you, and go places. …That sounds like I’ve not only stated the obvious, but I’ve smacked my readers in the face with a pop-up book.
Maybe I’ll post a blog talking about our adventures later on. …But now that I’ve said it, it’ll never happen. So let’s just say we’ve found some amazing places and enjoy visiting them. Also, I have to post the pictures of me being “slutty”. ….I have to have these boots. Just sayin’.

Oh. Back to the writing thing. I’ve got a few stories that I’m really anxious to work on because they’re collaborations. I’ve discovered that I really like writing with someone. More on that later. I’ll probably even post the stories on here eventually. It works because one of my partners in crime has a blog here too! I’d pimp it out, but I have to ask first. And I’m not going to do it now because I know he’s in bed and won’t be on.

Hmm… What else?

Ah yes. I’ve been thinking about whoring myself out so I can buy a bed. The hubby and I literally sleep on a pile of blankets, on the floor. Talk about comfy. Not! We have our pillows and a blanket to cover up with. How’s that for scrubbin’ it? I long for a bed. And I’m not really kidding about the whoring myself out bit. I don’t think I’d do it physically, although being used for the purpose of it would be interesting. Of course I’d make sure it was being recorded so I don’t get popped for prostitution. It helps that I want to be a porn star and I could maybe use those videos to start a website. …I’m putting way too much thought into this right now, haha.

But seriously, I long for a bed. I work full time and the only cushiony things I have to look forward to is the seat on the bus going to and from work. I don’t even have a comfy, cushy place to sit on here at home. Le’sigh. Although if this next pay check is spectacularly over 200, then I’m going to investigate in changing that. Even if I have to buy a fuckin’ mattress from walmart.com, then I will. I will be comfy, damn it!

…Rant over.

So work. Well work is pretty great. I love being a cashier. This is slowly becoming my favorite job. I’m so grateful to be employed right now. I just wish I could fit the school thing in too. But that’ll come, it has to. I don’t want to owe the government over 70 grand.

And I think that about covers it. Sort of. …

I know I say it lots, but I’ll write more later. Or I’ll remember to write more, will not do it, then feel guilty for doing so. Whatever comes first.

Recap

So. 2011. I didn’t write many blogs and in all fairness I did have stuff to write, but I didn’t feel like writing it. So let’s just do this: A HUGE recap blog. And yes I will remember it all because I’m a freak like that. So here it goes.

January

Not a lot happened. I got more and more tired of my sister-in-law’s wife as she continued to try to batter me and hubby mentally and verbally. Stupid bitch. And I wasn’t dying anymore. That made me happy. As you know I was suffering from some unknown illness and to be perfectly honest, we’re still not entirely sure what it was. Which is scary.

February

Stress. Hubby and I didn’t get to do anything for Valentine’s Day. Jobs were not had, and he had surgery. His tonsils were finally removed. Hallelujah! And he did so well with recovery. I was so proud and for a while I was scared. I really thought I was going to lose him. I couldn’t see him in the future, which not to sound psycho, but I couldn’t see us doing anything. And I really thought I was going to have to say good bye. I didn’t, of course, but new stress came to the surface revolving around my family. And it’s still there, but it’s something I can’t really talk about. Let’s just say it’s big, it’s major and it’s hideously life changing.

March, April and May

Friends. Or sort of. That’s what this one was for. No jobs yet either, which really sucked. Hubby was still recovering from surgery and I was applying to all sorts of places. Hoping for just one chance, but nada. And. Marin and Kate decide that they want a baby. WHAT?!
And that’s exactly what I said and how I reacted when I got the news.
Now in all fairness, I don’t remember if it was March when this was happening, because the past few months went in a blur. But I remember it being cold and snowing for some of it. And no, they didn’t have a baby. They gave up after two tries. Thank god for that. I remember drinking in celebration.

Now the friends thing.
*sighs* I will say this for starters.
People out here are soooo different and not in the good way. I have met one person who I am still friends with and spend time with her whenever I can, so the events that happened made it worth while.
I’m not going to go into all the annoying details, but I will say this. We made friends with a group of guys and this one guy. He’s more of a boy trying to be a man and failing… Anyway. We hit it off and then it got weird. Really weird. I was having fun and then he just got strange. And I felt awful. I mean, the three of us had played around a bit, but nothing all the way ish. And then it just stopped. I couldn’t continue. Sure casual sex is still just sex to us, but it will have to be with the right minded people.

April specifically though before the weirdness happened. I finally did it. I took a trip by myself. For my mom’s birthday I traveled to Colorado on the Greyhound and then back again two weeks later. It was great! I wasn’t scared at all and I got to see my friends and family. It didn’t fly by, but it didn’t snail either which was nice. I’ve come to decide that I prefer the bus. It was such a nice trip. I mean, yeah, I slept through Wyoming, but there’s not a lot to see there. It was raining and we stopped like two or three times. When we got out of Wyoming though, I was up. I knew I was on my way, not necessarily home, but some place like it. That Colorado sky is just special, especially when there’s those fluffy white clouds in the sky. I love it. The air, the scents, the sounds. It’s just perfect, and I miss it terribly.

Leaving wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be which was a bonus. I did get a little sad, but I told everyone that I would return and I’m pretty sure I still mean it. I’d love to go back and get an apartment or a mobile home with my honey and our kitties. Going back where it makes sense, it just makes sense.

And here’s the roller coaster. May kinda squeaked by. There was more stress at home between the family and it was awkward. And then came June. Glorious wonderful June. And why was this month so wonderous? Why so fabulous?? Because hubby got a job! But more importantly, Marin left.
Now in all fairness, at first I was angry, sad and confused. I also wanted blood because she broke my sister-in-law’s heart. I wanted to make her pay. I spent so much time with Kate keeping her mind off things and helped her through the stages that people go through when they’re dumped. Which was good for us. The next couple of months, stress evened out. Hubby still had a job and I was relatively happy. There were no more eggshells to walk across because of upsetting the bitch and everyone breathed easier. Kate even contacted someone who had really crushed on her and they went on a date!

July was fun!
One quest to the movie theater.
One journey from the ticket taker.
One climb up steps to find our goal.
And one night to truly enjoy.

Yes, my friends. I went nerdy. I went proud. I went and saw the uber long director’s edition of The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King at our movie theater. And it was Amaaaazing! There were so many nerds! And I loved it! I fit in! But yeah. Hubby and I found out about it from… the dollar theater, actually. And ohmygod. OH MY GOD. Talk about the razzle dazzle! That was one of the best things I’ve ever experienced. There was nifty trivia before the movie and it wasn’t awkward to break into quotes. I laughed and I cried and I enjoyed the true beauty of a movie experience.
Happy times and not so much stress. More sex. Good food.

But of course that couldn’t last. Hubby got sick again and was losing unnatural amounts of weight. Everything he ate literally went through him and he was getting worse. In September I thought I was going to lose him again. We had a tumor scare and he was so sick. So weak. Nothing I could do. The fact that I got a job didn’t even matter. I would work then come home and watch as he dragged himself away so he could work.
And we had another addition to the family. A kitty. But he couldn’t stay. His name was Squirrel and he literally followed us home one night. After about a month, we figured out that we couldn’t keep him because he didn’t get a long with our girls. So we gave him up. I still miss him and I hope he was able to find a good home where he could be the little prince there.
So in the span of 2 weeks I really hated life. Hubby had to quit his job because he was too ill. I got fired from mine because they’re a bunch of douchecuntbagpricks. You can quote me. And then I had to give up my Squirrel. Hubby and I were arguing more and having more angry time with eachother than pleasant time. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. As well as Kate and Marin started talking again. And then hanging out a lot. And blah blah blah.

So months again blurred. I got a job! Hubby got a job! And here we are. My store manager called me and offered me permanent employment. Hubby hasn’t heard anything, but he’s going to be doing more training, so it looks like his is too. Now I know writing this, is asking for something bad to happen, but I’ve decided that I’m going to try to be more positive for 2012. I’m going to try to be happier. I’m going to try to have more sex, because lord knows I miss it and need it, and I’m going to let go. I’m not going to care so much if I can’t write a story. So what. I’ve actually written a handful in the past few months though.

So yeah. That’s what’s happened. I’d say I’ll try to write in this thing more, but unless we get the internet back there’s not a huge chance of that. But. With these jobs, it should happen. I just need a new computer first because mine is literally falling apart. lol